Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
