lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
