no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
