ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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