Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I looked at my own cervix.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
