I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
