I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
