I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
