Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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