you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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