So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
