Got a toothbrush?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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