My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
