Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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