the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
