forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
