How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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