I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
