capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
