People with herpes should wear stickers.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize