After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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