sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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