Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
