DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
