Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
