So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
