I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
