I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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