Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
