Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
