What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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