So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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