i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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