the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
