Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
