I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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