i wish my penis had a tongue
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
