I feel great
I just peed on a car
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
