Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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