I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
