my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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