Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
