Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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