Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize