he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
