I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
