I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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