I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
