so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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