i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
