You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
