Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
