North Korea, Best Korea!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
