Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
