Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
