Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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