And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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