It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Those nachos came to me in a dream
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
