Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
