How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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