Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ugly people sure do ruin things
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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