I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
