i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
