If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i've created a new STD.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize