dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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