there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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