yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
they're like a gay fantastic four
You took a bar mat shot.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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