So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
