Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
