Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize