yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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