Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
