You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
