Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm sobbing to NWA
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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