I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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